Not A Blog™

Light fare, today; nothing crazy. This is one of those ideas that pops into my head, fully formed. No work involved. I have absolutely no idea where this came from, but it won’t leave, so I might as well write it down. I like to think this is slightly less of a rip-off of This is Spinal Tap than the classically doomed A Year and a Half in the Life of Kage (An old TTT project that never got finished), but you’ll have to decide for yourself. It’s basically word for word, with a few key words changed, so if you haven’t seen Spinal Tap, this will probably not make much sense.

An INTERVIEWER and a CULT LEADER are standing in a small room filled with sundry ICONS and ARTIFACTS. In the center is a PODIUM on which lies a MANUSCRIPT where four names are written.

CULT LEADER (Gesturing to the book)
This here, this is very special. This is our Quadrinity. We use this in prayer.

INTERVIWER
I’m sorry, your what?

LEADER
Our Quadrinity. Look here, you can see on this paper–

INTERVIEWER
What’s a Quadrinity?

LEADER
Well, I’m going to tell you here, if you’d listen. This here, you see, on this paper are four names.

INTERVIEWER
Okay…

LEADER
So most denominations of Christianity, they only have three beings in one God. But we have four. It’s a Quadrinity.

INTERVIEWER
Ah. Oh, I see. Most Christians just have a Trinity.

LEADER
Exactly.

INTERVIEWER
Does that mean your God is more powerful?

LEADER
Well, there’s one more, isn’t there? It’s not just three in one. It’s four. You see, most priests are going to be praying to three. You’ve got three there, you’re praying to the Son, the Father, and the Holy Ghost. Where can you go from there? Who else is there to pray to?

INTERVIEWER
I don’t know.

LEADER
No one! Exactly. You know what we do? When we need that extra bit—that extra push in the world in our favor, you know what we do?

INTERVIEWER
Pray to all four.

LEADER
All four—exactly.

INTERVIEWER
Why don’t you just have more faith and pray harder to the three in the trinity, and then just have three? Just have more faith in three in one.

[beat]

LEADER
We have four.