T-shirts are now available at the Not A Blog™ Cafe Press store. I’ll be putting up a few more select quotes over the next few days. If there’s one you’d like to see but I don’t have, let me know. Being a graphic designer, I’m more comfortable with the type treatments than illustration, although the “In Teh Beginning” shirt has a little sketch of a cat looking at a star. I’ll be expanding out into other things, eventually, but for now it’s Lolcat Bible focused.

And now what everyone’s been asking about: here’s a plain, easy-to-read text transcript of the lolcat in the picture—including an extra few verses at the end of Chapter 2.


1In teh beginning, Invisible Man make univerz. 2Invisible Earth was invisible. 3Invisible Man say, “I can has light.” Gotz light. 4Light iz good, iz not dark. 5Invisible Man can has day and nite. It be furst.

6Invisible Man can has expanz. 7Below expanz iz water. It happen. 8Above expanz he call ’sky’. It get dark, then lite: nex day.

9Invisible Man can has water over here, no water over ther. It happen. 10Not water iz ‘land’. Water iz ’seas’. Iz good.

11Invisible Man say, “I can has vegitashun.” It happen. 12Land has lots vegitashun, all kindz. Iz good. 13It get dark, then light again: day tree.

14Invisible Man say, “I can has big lite in day, small light in nite.” 15Teh Earth gots light. It happen. 16Invisible Man make big lite in day, small light in nite. He make starz, too. 17They go in sky. 18It good. 19It get dark again, then lite: day fore.

20Invisible Man say, “I can has fish n’ birdz.” 21Fish go in water, birdz go in sky. It good. 22Invisible Man say, “make lots little fish and little birdz. Fish make fish in water; birdz make birdz in air.” 23It get dark again, then lite: day fife.

24Invisible Man say, “I can has aminulz.” It happen. 25Invisible Man make kitteh n’ cowz n’ snakes n’ stuff. Iz good.

26Invisible Man say, “I can has man that look like me.” He rulez. 27Invisible Man make man like him, boy and gurl. 28Invisible Man tell man, “ur in mai Earth, pwnz0rz mai aminulz.” 29And u eats fruitz. 30Aminulz eat greenz.

31Invisible Man saws creayshunz: iz good. It get dark, then lite: day sicks.

2Teh heavenz n’ teh Earth wur done. 2Invisible Man finish on day sevn. He rest: Caturday! 3Invisible Man make Caturday holy ‘cuz he no work.

Adam n Eve

4This wuz how teh Heaven n teh Earth wuz made. When Invisible Man creat dem, 5ther wuz no plantz cuz ther wuz no rain n no man. 6Then water cames. 7Invisible Man make man from durt. He breath on man. Man can has life.

8Invisible Man can has Garden o Eden. Man goes in Garden. 9Invisible Man made treez that look purty n taste yummy. Garden can has in middle, good tree n bad tree.

10A river goes out of Garden fore wayz. 11One way iz Pishon: it go thru Havilah, land o gold. 12(Gold iz good. Ther iz pearlz n onyx, too.) 13Two way is Gihon: it go thru Cush. 14Tree way is Tigris: it go bai Asshur. Fore way is Euphrates.

15Invisible Man put man in Garden o Eden to wurk ther. 16Invisible Man say, “u can eats from any tree—17but not good-bad tree ‘cuz u will has death.”

18Invisible Man say, “Iz not good for man to be ‘lone. I make helpur.”

19Invisible Man made kittehs n birdz. He take aminulz to man so man can name dem. What man call aminulz, that wuz name. 20Man name cowz n birdz n kitteh, but he not have helpur. 21Invisible Man make man tired. When man sleepy, Invisible Man took rib and put in meat. 22Den, Invisible Man make woman outta man-rib, and he take her to man.

23Man say, “Dis is bone from my bone and meat from my meat; she can has name ‘woman’ cuz she come outta man.” 24That why boy leave mom n dad to get merried. They can has one.

25Man and woman wur both nekkid, but has no shame. (Lulz)


Related:
The Photo that Started It All
The Original Post
The Aftermath

[Edit: The Lolcat Bible and this associated post does not fall under the Creative Commons License. They are copyright 2007, Ted Stoltz.]