Not A Blog™

This seems to be a pretty good format: confusing dialogue, beat panel, exasperation. It works because it is actually how my conversations go. I had this one last week, as a matter of fact—and it’s a pretty regular occurrence throughout the year.

This is the conversational equivalent of trying to pass someone in the hall, both of you stepping aside to the opposite side—which is the same side, relative to each other—and then you both get stuck in a little back-and-forth dance. In speaking, it’s a matter of not talking over the other person, made even worse by the fact that both you and the cashier know what’s supposed to be said at this stage in the transaction, and yet neither of you can make any headway.

Here is what we need: rules of the conversational road. When you pull up to a four-way stop while driving, there is a clearly defined set of rules of what to do in that situation. Assuming the other drivers are not completely ignorant (a dangerous assumption, granted), everyone can navigate through the intersection with a minimum of fuss. But when it comes to speaking, nothing!

Why doesn’t some make a rule? Even an arbitrary rule would be better than unstructured conversation. Something like that the person being served always has the right of way. You would think this would be typical politeness anyway, but non-tipped service personnel don’t really care, so I end up getting into all sorts of conversational accidents, as illustrated here.

-Pulsar